


Never Again

by tocasia



Series: Our Shining Past [39]
Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: AU, Gen, Misunderstandings, Paperwork, Sephiroth and Zack friendship, Silly, Tattoos, always looking out for your friends, awful perfume, customer support, magazine subscriptions, petty revenge, phone surveys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 03:28:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13472757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tocasia/pseuds/tocasia
Summary: He knew better.(21. never again) for Seph&Zack Friendship 100 Themes





	Never Again

Sephiroth sat down at his desk, re-straightened a stack of papers, and... recoiled from the vile fragrance wafting from his inbox. Ugh! It was a tragic combination of... roses? musk? menthol? apples? tobacco? citrus? Why would someone ever...?

The magazine was wrapped in a discreet brown paper envelope. He had not ordered this.

Rolling his eyes at the cover, he pinpointed the offending ad with its sinister perfume fold. After last time, he knew setting the magazine on fire would only make it worse. From the time before last, he knew that tossing it in the shredder would do nothing but fumigate the room with the overpowering stench.

Which was why Sephiroth was on the phone with customer support.

"Yes, I'd like to cancel my unsolicited subscription to _'Mako Mutated Wildlife: Special Swimsuit Edition'_." Every issue was a special edition, at least according to Hojo.

"I'm sorry sir. We could substitute another title instead, but a full year's subscription has already been paid for and is nonrefundable."

A whole _year?_ He hadn't.... Whose fault was this? Hmm.

"Is it possible to transfer the remaining months as a gift?" Sephiroth asked, politely. It was worth a try.

"I'll check. Yes, actually! Shall I take the name and address of the recipient now?"

He provided the required information.

If Rufus _ever_ did this again, more drastic measures would be necessary. Perhaps he should send a 'heartfelt message' with the 'gift'? No, he should not make threats on the phone that could be misinterpreted.

Soon everything was sorted out. "Thank you, you've been very helpful," he said.

A recorded voice took over. "Would you like to rate your customer experience? The survey will take only a minute."

Sephiroth hung up. He knew it did not take only a minute.

Now he could get back to work.

* * *

...or not.

"What is it, Zack?"

"My right shoulder itches like crazy, can you take a look?"

Sephiroth sighed. "There's a mirror in the bathroom down the hall."

"Yeah, but you know a lot more about this stuff than I do." Zack _did_ sound worried...

...and didn't like the labs. "Fine. Turn around and take off your shirt."

"Oh baby!" Zack feigned a swoon, "I gotta make you say that more often!"

Sephiroth suppressed the urge to cuff him upside the head. Zack might really be hurt; making him see stars wouldn't help. It was the most important of missions that Zack be okay. If something happened....

There was a biohazard sign tattooed on Zack's right shoulder, already fading.

But he'd acted like...!

Unacceptable.

He chose a tone of grave concern. "This is serious. I don't know if you'll make it through. In fact, I think I will mention this to Hojo. Perhaps he can market the SOLDIER program as a tattoo removal service. We'll have to repeat the experiment, of course...."

"What?" Zack panicked.

"Or maybe I'm also _only joking_."

"I'd never... I wasn't.... A tattoo?"

" _Never_ lie to me about being injured again!"

Impossibly brave, Zack met his gaze. Instead of mirroring his anger, Zack offered... understanding? "I promise never to do that, Seph. I really didn't know."

Wait, he hadn't? Zack was sincere? Sephiroth let his confusion show. "How could you not?"

"It must've been Reno. I'm so gonna... not actually kill him." Zack scowled. "I am _never_ falling asleep on the couch in the Turk lounge again."

Ha! Sephiroth spared a small smile of reconciliation, an apology for his mistake. "Seems like a wise precaution. I'll keep that in mind, too."


End file.
